Even before I resigned as an elder there were few disfellowshipped people I wasn't kind to. It's unchristian to be unkind. Period. But yes, there are some "out of the truth" I will not associate with. An example is my brother. He's a self-entitled abuser of women, a drunk and cruel. I see no reason to treat him nicely. Correctly, yes. As my best buddy. Never.
Sharing a rejection of the Watch Tower does not make me the friend of anyone with an abusive personality. Part of good judgment is to be selective in our associates. Being outside Watch Tower control, we can make our own choices. But being outside Watch Tower dictatorial and mindless control does not free us from the responsibility to make good choices in associates.